Durham Family Law Specialist, Barri Payne

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Family Law Articles

The Covid 19 Pandemic and Your Case

Dear Valued Clients: I wanted to update all of you on how the Coronavirus pandemic is affecting Payne Family Law and Mediation and potentially your legal matter. Our office hours. First, know that we are still working, albeit reduced hours given the slowdown and our own personal needs to manage the needs of our families and to adhere to the federal and state guidelines for social distancing. If you call our office or email us, please know that you will receive a return call or email but it may not be until the next business day. Appointments. We are still scheduling and conducting initial consultations and necessary conversations with clients, but are doing these by telephone. This is for your safety and ours and to encourage you to stay home and stay safe and healthy. If you need to come to the office to make a payment or sign a...


Payne Family Law & Mediation is pleased to announce that Barri Payne has been included in the Family Law Section of Best Lawyers in America 2020 list. Barri Payne is a Board Certified Specialist in Family Law and is certified as a Family Financial Mediator through the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission. She attended the University of North Carolina at Charlotte where she received a B.A. in Religious studies and Sociology and earned her Juris Doctor degree from University of North Carolina School of Law at Chapel Hill in 1999. Barri is a strong and ethical advocate for divorcing parents and children. She considers the entire family unit to the greatest extent possible, especially as a mediator. First published in 1983, Best Lawyers® has become universally regarded as the definitive guide to legal excellence. Best Lawyers lists are compiled based on an exhaustive peer-review evaluation. Lawyers cannot pay a fee...

From a War of the Roses to a Meeting of the Minds – Getting the Most from Mediation

Your family law clients might not be ready to draw a line through the center of the house as Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner did in THE WAR OF THE ROSES, but their divorces may be just as contentious. Whether contentious or not, family law matters can be skillfully resolved with the help of a mediator extensively experienced in family law.

Do People Really Fight Over Dishes?

As a young family-law attorney starting out seventeen (17) years ago, I had no idea the variety of assets that would be the subject of long conversations with clients, letters to opposing counsel, negotiation at mediation, or even trial time in Court. Besides real estate, retirement accounts and cash, these assets have included Beanie Babies, pets, photo albums, dog houses, guns, clothing, and yes, dishes! Our courts have become increasingly unwilling to spend time on personal property and are often now appointing arbitrators to decide these issues if unresolved at the time of trial. However, my experience representing clients and mediating cases has taught me that sometimes these issues are very important to one or both parties. Usually this is because either the item(s) has a great sentimental value or the item is a symbol or manifestation of an interest or feeling that they cannot articulate or that cannot be...

Divorce in North Carolina

In N.C. parties have to be living separate and apart for a period exceeding one year in order to file for divorce. The divorce action is separate from the other issues such as equitable distribution and child custody or child support and can be (and usually are) filed separately. The divorce can proceed even if the other issues are not resolved, with the caveat that alimony and equitable distribution claims are deemed waived if not filed prior to the entry of the divorce judgment. However, so long as those claims have been filed and are pending prior to the divorce, they will survive the entry of the divorce judgment. Divorce in N.C. does not require the showing of fault grounds or irreconcilable differences. Being a citizen and resident of N.C. for 6 months prior to filing, and living separate and apart for a period exceeding one year with the intention...

How is Child Support Calculated?

How is child support determined in North Carolina? Is it a specific percentage of the non-custodial parents’ income? No, there is not a set percentage. Child Support is calculated using the N.C. Child Support Guidelines using each party’s income, the child care expenses, the medical insurance costs for the children and any extraordinary expenses. The Guidelines can be found at https://nddhacts01.dhhs.state.nc.us/home.jsp?TargetScreen=WorkSheet.jsp If you and your spouse’s combined income exceeds $25,000 gross per month, the Guidelines will not apply and the Court will look to the children’s actual needs and accustomed standard of living and the relative abilities of each parent to meet the children’s expenses.

Is Modification Possible?

Can my custody or child support terms be changed later? Yes, if the terms were set forth in a court order they can be changed later upon a showing that there has been a substantial change in circumstances since the date of the last order affecting the welfare of the child(ren). If the terms were in an agreement, they can be changed by an amendment or subsequent agreement or by filing an action with the Court to have the Court enter an order setting forth a different child custody schedule or child support amount.

Are Retirement Accounts Marital Property?

Are retirement accounts considered marital property and can they be divided by the Court? Yes, if they were earned during the marriage they are marital property. This is true even if the spouse did not make any contributions themselves, and all funds were contributed by the employer. If the employment was during the marriage, the associated retirement funds will be marital. The Court can divide retirement accounts such as 401-K’s and pensions by Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDRO’s) which direct the Plan Administrator how to divide the account. Whenever possible, however, the Court tries to divide assets “in kind” and distribute entire accounts to each party in an equitable way so that accounts may not have to be segregated.

Can Children Decide Where They Live?

When can kids decide on their own which parent they want to live with? There is no set age in N.C. as to when this can occur. It is in the Judge’s discretion whether to speak to children and give them any input into the determination. Judges vary as to what age children they will speak to. Some will speak to a child as young as 10 or 11 while others are unwilling to talk to children until they are 15 or 16. It will only be one piece of the evidence that the Court considers and will not be determinative by itself. The Court also will not speak to a child in chambers unless both parents agree.

What if my spouse won’t move?

Can the Court force my spouse to move out of the home? In certain circumstances this can be accomplished particularly if there is domestic violence or substance abuse occurring. Contact us to discuss this further. Sometimes an amicable agreement to separate can be reached once you hire counsel who can help you assess whether mediation is possible or whether serving your spouse with a proposed separation agreement may help achieve separation as well.

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